Book Proposal for Broadway Books
Title: Pomegranate Seeds Lines My Face Orifices for a Year
For one year I will genetically modify the linings of the orifices of facial parts harvested from willing donors so that the facial orifice linings will be able to grow rich, abundant pomegranate seeds. Then I will have those orifice lining pieces grafted onto me, so that when someone looks into my nose or ears she will see delicious, bright red pomegranate seeds lining the orifice. Similarly, the inner lining of my mouth will also be covered in pomegranate seeds, though my eyes & my gums will remain seed-free.
This idea came to me in a dream. In the dream I was at an airport, running late, when I decided I had to log onto one of those weird public computers & check my email from students. Then, in the dream, the perspective shifted & I was in the POV of someone putting a Q-Tip into my ear. The Q-Tip mysteriously was accompanied by a light source that illuminated the ear canal. Inside the ear canal was row upon row of beautiful, delectable pomegranate seeds. The Q-Tip jostled them slightly & they moved just a bit, squeaking slightly like real pomegranate seeds.
This book will trace the recent boom in pomegranates among the health conscious & grocery-elite. In this respect it will be a book that considers the fashion trends of grocery items. This will also be a book about the urges toward aesthetic hybridization. Therefore it will be at both the cutting edge of both economics books & pragmatic art theory.
But this is also a book about following one's dreams. Not in the Lance Armstrong sense, but in the truly deranged sense in which dreams are schizophrenic experiences. By following my dreams in such painful & inconvenient ways, I hope to demonstrate the depths of despair & disgust that can result from faith, especially faith in oneself.
At the end of the year I plan to be a changed man & to have learned many valuable life lessons.